It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
