Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
send nudes
from the living room?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
