dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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