I heard we made out
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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