i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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