A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
