god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
