This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
