Christians are straight up FREAKS
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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