The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
