Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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