i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
