so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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