I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
