i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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