Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
