Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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