there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
