my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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