Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pants are for mortals
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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