She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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