Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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