yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
