We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
