ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
