Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
