One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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