she was so not down for the gang bang
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
