All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm really busy with my period
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