well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
