You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
