Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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