why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
