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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I have one thing to say: spongebath.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

  Fav 99 2145 19248

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

  Fav 21 10830 1617

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

  Fav 5 1870 1099

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"

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• (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

  Fav 1 1375 596

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

  Fav 9 1205 694

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

  Fav 4 1031 537

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.

  Fav 1 253 204

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• (315): View more from New York

  New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.

  (716): View more from New York

  This is why we're soulmates.

  Fav 2 49 19

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• (315): View more from New York

  Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.

  Fav 0 54 5

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.

  Fav 3 52 8

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• (925): View more from California

  It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.

  Fav 0 73 20

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!

  Fav 0 53 35

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