Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
