Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
