Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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