Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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