Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
