I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Randomize
