i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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