All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
