Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
