She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
