i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
