I think I died a long time ago.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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