yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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