I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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