listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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