he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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