I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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